Inspired to create and pragmatism be damned

Inspiration is a funny thing. I usually have lots of it, alas it’s the perspiration I don’t have as much of; the sweat equity I need to put in to produce that masterpiece. Why does life get in the way? Damn reality! However, it is fiction that can take us beyond the reach of reality.

Johah Lehrer, author of Imagine: How Creativity Works, says “when we venture beyond the edge of our knowledge, all we have is art.” But that muse is illusive so I carry a notebook with me to jot down those aha moments when they spring upon me.

As Mr. Lehrer says though, since I’m older I may have fewer of those. It seems that the older we get, the less inventive we become. Maybe it’s just the whole reality conundrum. When I was younger I had all the time in the world to daydream and didn’t censor any of it. Now, I have to work full time to raise children and keep a home and chauffeur kiddies to tons of after school activities, and clean the house and walk the dog and….so less time to dream.

As an adult I’ve also developed a nasty pragmatist devil on my shoulder reminding me to focus and plant my feet firmly on the ground because dreaming won’t get me anywhere. I try to rein in my creativity to the nights and weekends when I have time to listen to that fickle and fanciful angel sitting on my other shoulder. Seems my muse doesn’t much like the structure and rules of adulthood. According to Mr. Lehrer in the article below, I should tell my inner critic to zip it and let the inspiration flow.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/arts/books/how-to-grab-inspiration-by-the-tail/article2380020/page1/

Detours along the way...

I like detours, the side roads and alleyways that take you off course. It’s the adventures along the way that make the journey memorable rather than just a straight shot from A to B.

But, I do have to watch that my attention doesn’t get drawn to the smaller shiny things for too long because then I might give up the bigger goal that waits on the horizon, a little fuzzier, a little less immediate and glamorous for the hard work needed to attain it. I suspect I may be my own worst enemy sometimes.

In my writing, sometimes the side roads take me away from what I’m supposed to be doing which is rewriting the ‘brilliant’ idea I had years before when I woke at 3 am excited by the kernel of my novel and could hardly wait to finish the first draft. All these years later as I polish the manuscript in smaller and smaller circles until my fingers get numb, I sometimes get sidetracked by things like playwriting. Ooo, maybe I should try that and off I go for a few months. Maybe I need a Masters or maybe fifty more opinions on where others think my book should go.

I’ve taken the advice of so many experts and tried to write short stories for contests or a novella to at least get my name in print which I have. Twas fun. It’s good to branch out and deepen my skill set. But, as I’m traipsing down the side roads I do wonder if I’ve lost track of my main trajectory, the goal of all this wandering, which is to get my novel published. If it’s good, but not good enough then I’ll never get there. And no amount of side roads will take me back to the main road because I have NO sense of direction and sometimes get lost.

So, I will renew my drive to my final destination and pack some snacks for the long ride ahead. Now I need to get back to my desk because I know that AIC (ass in chair) is the only thing that will get me where I want to go.

http://arts.nationalpost.com/2012/03/22/hiromi-goto-finishing-is-the-hardest-part/#more-66875

Unless...

The definition of passion - boundless enthusiasm (from free online dictionary)

Professor Larry Smith of the Economics Department at the University of Waterloo has something to say about loving what you do. I've pasted in below his entertaining and poignant rant about why you will fail to have a good career because you have to pursue 'the greatest fascination in your life' not just something interesting that will pay the bills. You will fail to have a great career UNLESS you do what you are passionate about.

http://www.ted.com/talks/larry_smith_why_you_will_fail_to_have_a_great_career.html

I saw Dr. Seuss' movie The Lorax last weekend with my ten and twelve year old sons. The Lorax is the keeper of the trees and yet fails to protect them. The resurrection of the trees falls to a boy who wants to impress a girl by giving her what she really wants, which is a real tree in an artificial town. I won't give away the ending of the movie as you should go see it, but suffice it to say that the Lorax leaves the pivotal character with the word UNLESS imprinted on one of the rocks that used to encircle a tree. Dr. Seuss said "unless someone like you cares an awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." He had passion and made a difference in children's lives while entertaining us adults at the same time.

I feel the same way. Nothing is going to get better, unless....In my mundane little world these days here is my unless. I'm struggling with my playwriting course. I want to write a play I really do, but my playwriting teacher keeps telling me to write what I would if I had six months left to live. If that's not a deadline to inspire passion I don't know what is!

But, I only signed up because I wanted to learn the nuts and bolts of playwriting. My instructor wants me to fire up my creative soul. I don't have a subject I'm that passionate about to cram into a 45 minute comedy. What I lack is inspiration and the boundless enthusiasm to hammer out 45 pages. So, I'll finish out this course and look for my passion again in the stories I seem, so far, to be only able to tell in short story and novel form. I won't think any further on the whole 'doing what you love' conundrum. For now I have a good career and a great passion for writing on the side. So I will keep on keeping on unless....

International Women's Day - let's party

On International Women's Day I've decided to enjoy being a chick. Not that I don't every other day of the week, but sometimes when I'm knee deep in dishes or groceries or other unpaid forms of labour I do wonder if it shouldn't be called something else like International Schmuck's Day.

 

But then I look at my kids and think that I was lucky enough to have them. I wake up next to my husband and think he's pretty cute and he likes women so I'm a shoo in. Then I come to work in a still male-dominated industry and I enjoy my job and make ok money, but there have been times when being a woman was definitely a liability. It's amazing how many old school chauvinists are still alive and well in Canada. Plus, if I turn the TV on the amount of T&A reinforces my suspicion that society may just view me as a piece of meat until I'm of a 'certain age' and then I'm invisible.

 

That said I am thankful to be a woman in Canada and not in a country where being a second class citizen is ingrained in the law and social mores of the society. I do own property, and I do make my own living plus I'm allowed to vote. Yay for me! Let's work together to roll those basic human rights out to the rest of the world. I believe that socieities where women are cherished and their voices heard have both the head and heart to drive economic and social growth without leaving anyone behind.

 

Anyway, I hope you all have a good day and think about the fact that there is not International Men's Day likely because they don't need one. I do like men, but I don't want to be one ;)

 

http://www.calgaryherald.com/life/Women+still+getting+left+behind+study+says/6256006/story.html

Introverts Unite!

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennagoudreau/2012/01/30/quiet-revolution-of-the-50-percent-introverts-susan-cain/

 

It took me a long time to accept that I am a social introvert. I like people, just not lots of them all at once in my face. I prefer small dinners with friends to clubbing with strangers. I am a homebody not a galavanter.

 

Maybe I write because I prefer that to speaking. It's not that I have nothing to verbally say, but  what I say is well-considered and shared sparingly. I wish others would do the same, but such is not our culture these days. Today more is better, quantity is quality and there are few social filters so we hear just about every thought expressed 24/7 whether we care or not. Thank you Facebook.

 

I'm happy there is a 'Quiet Revolution' under way. I hope we can find a balance between the 'cult of personality' and a deeper more reflective state of being that might consider leaving a bit unsaid, a few seconds of silence perhaps to encourage sharing of emotions and ideas, which I believe they call communication. My husband calls it being on receive rather than transmit. We should all try that sometimes. You'd be amazed what you hear when you stop talking and just breathe.

 

My son had an extroverted teacher in his earlier grades. She was a good teacher, but she thought his lack of sharing in class (for which he was docked marks because it's all about participation and group work these days) meant he was approaching deaf-mutism. After I stopped my inner screaming, I told her that he only speaks when he has something to say and someone he feels comfortable sharing it with. He is with a teacher now who lets him speak and actually listens.

 

Introverts don't like being bombarded with stimulus. We will share if you give us room and time to speak. That's why I enjoy writing. I can have a conversation with my readers and myself without anyone interrupting. It allows for quiet reflection and communication.

 

Thanks for listening.

to boldly go where I should - any ideas on the art of brashness?

I love the protagonist's obsession with the classic tale Treasure Island in Sara Levine's novel of the same name (only followed by lots of exclamation points). Sara's main character seeks to emulate the life of adventure found in the classic novel by concentrating on the qualities she feels she lacks:   BOLDNESS, RESOLUTION, INDEPENDENCE AND HORN-BLOWING.

Living in Calgary I have the horn-blowing down pat as I jockey for position with other aggressive drivers in the 24-7 rush hour. But, I think she meant horn-blowing of a different nature. I like to think I'm learning how to toot my own horn, but I think I need to embrace brashness like Sara Levine's protagonist without getting fired. How can I flex my self-awareness and self-actualization muscles without offending those around me who like my diplomatic ways? Maybe I need to say what I mean and mean what I say and let the consequences rain down. So, if I don't say anything to you it's because I don't have anything nice to say. Don't go away mad, just go away.

BOLDNESS. Hmmmm, let's see....Last year I bought red lipstick, got boudoir pics done and took up boxing, plus started a writing group. Check.

RESOLUTION. At the start of every new year I resolve to spend less and save more, to eat less and exercise more. I seem to stay the same in these areas, but at least I'm not sliding into the abyss of greed and sloth! I always resolve to write more and to get published. Last year I managed to work on more projects than ever and send more out plus got another story published.

INDEPENDENCE. Really, at this stage in life I doubt my father would take me back. So, yay, mission accomplished.

So I seem to be doing ok by Sara Levine's standards, but I aspire to the brashness of her anti-heroine. I need to be selfish and oblivious to the feelings and needs of others. I need to do more horn blowing and less listening. Perhaps I  need to buy a white peasant blouse and a flowing velvet skirt plus a large black hat with a colourful plume and randomly shout 'shiver me timbers'.

I need more adventure in my life, more anarchy. Although living with 5 boys, an entrepreneurial husband and a dog, I often feel that I am surrounded by pirates, just not plank walking, gun firing ones. The only plank I have in my life is the ab exercise I employ to outwit the hands of time that pull on my middle-aged midsection.

Maybe I can engage in small acts of adventure to spruce up my otherwise stable middle class, working Mom existence. Maybe instead of sorting the laundry into darks and whites I will mix the two and give all the boys pink socks. Maybe I'll elbow the brasher little old ladies (who time has allowed to say 'I don't give a crap anymore') out of the way to squeeze the canteloupes first and with more gusto than they can muster. Maybe, just maybe I'll be the heroine in my own life and provide comic relief to those around me.

In the end, I think it boils down to living with exclamation marks; to boldy resolve to be an independent horn-blowing heroine in an adventure of my making. I hope it's one worth starring in and one that others will enjoy watching.

The day the internet went dark...

This one's from the Advocacy Committee I belong to through the Writers Guild of Alberta. I'm all for free speech AND for protecting my work. Seems the States is having the same struggle with copyright that Canada is.

http://advocacywga.wordpress.com/2012/01/18/can-we-have-copyright-in-the-internet-age/